He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
