I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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