More tranny stories later!
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
