I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
