Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
