Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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