remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize