hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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