did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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