if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
