Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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