I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
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Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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