i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
