There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
