I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
