did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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