I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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