In the future we'll all be gay
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
