Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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