I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
