Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
