Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
