There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
