awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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