i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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