Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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