well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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