Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
We need to get me chipped asap
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
