marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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