Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
