so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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