my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
