After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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