Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize