I got chris browned last night
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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