I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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