this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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