"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
