Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
meet me or not, i'm out of control
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Randomize
