Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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