dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Sorry about my life...
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
