we made out on top of his cat.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
