Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
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I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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