In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize