Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
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