I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
