i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
