It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
