we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
