hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
