Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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