Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
