walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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