Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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