I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
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