hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
