i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Randomize