I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Randomize
