K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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