The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
